Marriage

It amazes me how people view marriage. I am not certain that too many have the same vision. Even in my circle of family and friends, I only know of one or two that even has the same view as I do. In fact...many times I begin to be influenced by the majority and then when I turn to these 2 for their Godly council...I am quickly repentant and turn back to the understanding that I do believe with all my heart is God. Even though my husband and I have the same fundamental beliefs, we are not in agreement on everything.

Don't you find it interesting how when you are dating or have committed to the "one you love forever" that months or years after the wedding you realize.....questions you did not ask each other. Important questions like...How much money do you make? What are your financial plans? Where will we go to church? How will we make time for our families? Do you snore?

One of the first questions that was asked of me when I announced I was engaged was "so is the sex good?" I was shocked and they were even more shocked when I said that Mark and I gave our relationship to the Lord and would not sleep together until our honeymoon. It was their opinion that I had made a mistake. This was coming from a single parent mom. Before I met my husband, I had a few close relationships. Two of them, I could see marrying. I loved them and their families. The hardest thing about the break ups was not just missing the guy but missing his whole family. I finally realized that I needed to let God bring the man to me...and until there was a ring on my finger I would not allow my emotions to control me nor would I meet their family. In this decision, I experienced what I know is God being in control and yet there was a part that was digging her heals in the ground.

Recently I heard someone say something that I think I always knew but did not quite know how to put my finger on it. Soul ties are not what we are to have....Spiritual ties are. I have always felt that my husband fit the Spiritual list that I made with God. He does not always meet my flesh expectations but I have no doubt that God brought him into my life as my husband. We have many differences..sometimes they balance us out and some we battle with. Even with this belief, I have struggled many times in our marriage on whether it was right. I have been hurt so many times, deeply, that I just wanted out. If others can divorce and serve God, why can't I? God's own chosen people in the Bible struggled with their marriages. Why should I be different? Why should I work it through?

God hates divorce. (Malachi 2:16) Why do we make exceptions. God hates all sin yet we continue to make excuses for them. I watch as many of my friends come up with what they feel are sound reasons. Never mind what the word says or how it will affect their children & family. I have heard it all... neglect, affairs, "I never loved him", porn, verbal abuse, drugs, "She doesn't love me", no sex... I realize some of my friends will be reading this. How are we to grow if we do not discuss our lives and let God in? I hope this will help us all to learn and know more of what God wants for us.

I understand why many did not share their pain before they began to end their marriage in their hearts. I experienced that. Mark & I had an explosion in our marriage not too long after my son was born. I always knew somethings were not right with us but never actually knew exactly what. I shared with close friends of mine my pain...my fear...my thoughts. In that attempt to reach out to ones I believed would help me keep focused and steer me to God's word...I lost a close friend. It frightened her...the fears I shared and the pain I felt. She took my fears and shared them with others as 'truth'. I was even more broken. Was I stupid for believing in God and the words He told us to live by? Should I have not shared and kept it inside me? No. I am saddened that to this day this family is distant from us. Our children were good friends at one time...as well as the adults. I believe that friend had her own secrets that haunted her and that is why mine scared her. I still pray for her and believe that some day our relationship will be restored. None the less, I have taught my children that they must have a person, mentor, friend, that they confide in....someone that will not empathize or sympathize but take them to God's word no matter what. I have that. God always made sure I had that.

I must take a break for now. I will continue on this subject for a while. There are a few more out there that are contemplating what choices they have. Let me make myself clear before I go. You can call me anytime...day or night. I will pray with you. I will stand on God's promises with you. We are to DIE to ourselves and LIVE for Christ. He is the author of our lives. Whether we have a powerful effect in life or are just a silent servant of God...We must not let our minds be filled with anything other than God's word.